Recognition

so even though i chose to make this move..it doesnt make it any easier to actually leave....and i know i am completely excited and there's so much to be done and learned bein there...and really i feel so fourtunante to have amanda to move with...and the family i have...(which includes all my friends who i feel more connected to then the norm)...for those ppl they are my family..the ones that i have around me to guide me and love me and care for me...and as ironic as it may be, with the difficulty it is to even think about leavin them, i feel as though they are those ppl who have helped me get to this point where i can stand tall on my own feet and try something new and different and completly scary...soo for all you who hate that im movin and are apart of my life...look in the mirror and tell yourself " its my fault for ever lettin her believe she could ever do somethin like this". haha yes thats right somehow i blame you all! haha As expected there is a sad part in leavin...the part where an idea becomes reality...where 4 months turns into 10 days ...where i feel like i have no idea what i was doin wasting time in the in betweens of not bein around the ppl i love more...i always tell myself.. my gosh this is just too real...and real has become not a good enough word to describe all the emotions in me....especailly as the move comes closer..and new highs and lows are presented...either way i know what i need to be doin..and life invloves change. As much as i like to believe i don't mind change, there's still that sense of security that gets weaker and weaker....til one day i wont be so afraid to rely on myself...ha. Now that's an idea. I am truely excited to see what God has instore for amanda and i as we start this new life...that alone makes me just wonder of the many possibilites that are available to us...through Him. Still as you will notice, there will be a bittersweet hint to most blogs that i write...but I guess that's just part of it.