It's Setting In

I woke up this morning and was competely overwhelmed by the fact that it's tuesday, and that movin day is soo close..I don't think I'm ready to be completely honest...at least from a financial stand point. I regret bein so careless with my savings..and now I'm afraid I might have to learn the hard way. Why can't I just be made of money, as shallow as this might sound, I just might not have any problems if I didn't have to worry about money. Also, just the idea of packing, leaving, and that first day of the new life..just makes me sick to my stomach. Ugh.

Sofia Has Arrived!

At 6:48 am this mornin she finally came! She's just 6 lbs and actually came on her due date, which is very rare.... Lisa didn't use any drugs even though it was pretty much an all nighter. She's just amazing. I am soo excited for her and Clayton. Pictures will come.

Welcome to the world baby Sofia!

Recognition

so even though i chose to make this move..it doesnt make it any easier to actually leave....and i know i am completely excited and there's so much to be done and learned bein there...and really i feel so fourtunante to have amanda to move with...and the family i have...(which includes all my friends who i feel more connected to then the norm)...for those ppl they are my family..the ones that i have around me to guide me and love me and care for me...and as ironic as it may be, with the difficulty it is to even think about leavin them, i feel as though they are those ppl who have helped me get to this point where i can stand tall on my own feet and try something new and different and completly scary...soo for all you who hate that im movin and are apart of my life...look in the mirror and tell yourself " its my fault for ever lettin her believe she could ever do somethin like this". haha yes thats right somehow i blame you all! haha As expected there is a sad part in leavin...the part where an idea becomes reality...where 4 months turns into 10 days ...where i feel like i have no idea what i was doin wasting time in the in betweens of not bein around the ppl i love more...i always tell myself.. my gosh this is just too real...and real has become not a good enough word to describe all the emotions in me....especailly as the move comes closer..and new highs and lows are presented...either way i know what i need to be doin..and life invloves change. As much as i like to believe i don't mind change, there's still that sense of security that gets weaker and weaker....til one day i wont be so afraid to rely on myself...ha. Now that's an idea. I am truely excited to see what God has instore for amanda and i as we start this new life...that alone makes me just wonder of the many possibilites that are available to us...through Him. Still as you will notice, there will be a bittersweet hint to most blogs that i write...but I guess that's just part of it.

ughhh

So I took off today to have some chill out time and get stuff together for movin...and i dont wanna do any of it...This has to be the laziest day ever...if i had my way i would've never even got outta bed this mornin...but anyways last night was fun. I loved havin everyone around...that better happen more often...it just doesnt make any sense to not hangout all together....the family needs to reunite more often. fooo sho..


i still need to blog about club bang...it'll come soon.

Blessed.

So bethany helped me create this thing, and I'm glad she did cuz I needed and outlet for all these mixed emotions. I've been wanting to put in words how completly blessed I feel to have the friends I do...and the family I have. So be prepared for some real cheesiness...I'm not sure if I can help it...



Faithy..

Even though you live for away..it just proves that you and me are lifers. We always said it was God who brought us together, and I believe it. You are that childhood friend that every girl should have. We've learned and grown together. And to you I am so thankful. You are apart of all my greatest memories...from summer camps to stupid highschool pranks. It's really hard to believe that we've been friends since I was 11...perfect timing to have such a strong, caring friend. I love you more and more as time passes, and I'm completely amazed on how your life has come about. You're still that strong and caring person, who touch peoples lives the moment they meet you. I'm so excited to see how your future plays out...most of all I can't wait to be there when you get married! It's that new chapter of your life that God has perfectly planned. I'm just lucky enough to watch all the blessings He has play out in your life. Your apart of who I am...and always will be.




Bethany-
Oh man where to start. You've got me and I got you. It just the way its gotta be. I need that consistent light to bring me to my senses...and clear all the noise in my head. Most of all your that person I can rely on to make me laugh...and to spend a loong lazy day with and be perfectly content. So many things we've done and conversations that we've had has shown to me to be the things that I treasure the most. Even time when you were livin with me...and pretty much dyin..somehow I find good memories outta that. Everything that's seems like typical bethany and jackie activities haven't changed..and I wish I could take them and you with me when I leave. You're that rhythm i need in my life...you help create a much needed balance . Something I'll always come to you for. It's really starting to hit me how hard its gonna be to not have you in my daily life. I'm not done unknowingly making great memories with you..and I know moving isn't the ending of anything...But I'm gonna always wish you were just across town..or in the other room. I love you Bethany..more then i can even put in words. I know God knew I needed someone like you in my life. To help me grow as a better person, and prepare me for what's next. Because with you I always have someone to rely on...and most importantly He knew I needed that in you.





Rachy-
I swear you and me are kindred spirits. I haven't felt so attached and connected to someone as I do with you. Your my emotional rock...the one I can come so undone with and somehow sense is made in all of it. And if anyone can do it you know they've gotta be a hell of a person. And to me you are perfect timing. I feel like whatever I go through you are there to tell my your been there advice. It's always advice I need...what I can rely on hearing from you. This world is so unpredictable and confusing but know that you can take on anything. You're a lot stronger then you even realize. You deserve the absolute best in life, and I know changes are coming for you...and I can't wait to see what that will be. With all our conversations and target trips, a friendship has grown into something more then I even realized. Something that I can't ever lose...it's amazing to me that I have someone like you in my life..someone I feel like I can relate to on so many levels. And I'm not kiddin when I say I'm attached...its for real...and kinda ridiculous..haha. Most of all thank you for just bein you...Because I need you in my life...perfectly the way you are



To all my friends here at home...there's something in all of you that has made my life so great. I told you this was gonna be soo cheesy but I gotta say that I feel like the most blessed person ever...I couldn't ask for better friends...and awesome memories....

and to you who will be goin to club bang this weekend....let the memories rollllll on!


i love you alll...